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Beard Comb And Oil
No better pair was ever there, but perhaps grass and soil.
The two are as inseparable as an old dog is loyal,
And when they are combined in beard, they look both rich and royal.
The oil is responsible for making your beard more soft,
And to bring about a jealous lout who had but just once scoffed.
But wear it proudly, yes sir, you must, and keep your chin aloft,
For less will you find fallen whiskers than unoil’d will you oft’.
The comb fits as well into pocket as it does into beard,
And when this comb has found its home, you will be both loved and feared.
They are made of brass, steel, wood and bone, and you shall see it’s steered
Through droves of forests on your face, ‘til at bottom it’s appeared.
And one without the other is like a ship without the sea,
Just as I can tell that you know well exactly and agree.
With comb as rudder, current of oil, this might just be the key,
But then, perhaps, your beard is woodland, each hair a mighty tree.
This is the end now of my tale, and so I will wish thee well.
Remember, please, oil, comb, with these you’ll win the ball’s fairest belle.
But heed this word and listen closely as to you I must tell,
Fail to treat your beard with respect, you’ll soon find yourself in hell.
- Jacob Smith