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Best Beards In Music:
The Fuzziest Faces In The Biz
Unlike your nine to five job, the music industry offers a slightly more lax policy on facial hair. This “who really gives a $#@!” attitude has given way to some of the best beards, period, but today we salute those beards that truly rock, swing and sing!
No list of musically inclined or inspired beards would be complete without the inclusion of the famed and frizzy ZZ Top. Between the belt-buckle-length beards of Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill, and the aptly named Frank Beard, it’s as if their entire musical outfit was designed as one, big homage to mighty, miraculous facial hair. Not to take anything away from these guys, because God knows they shred something sweet, but we think that there’s some kind of subliminal beard message campaign afoot.
Again, it would be blasphemous to list the best beards in music without justly attributing one spot to the beard that rests gracefully upon Def Jam Records co-founder, Rick Rubin’s face. Just about as long as his flowing locks, this beard has very possibly met and expedited the careers of more enormous musicians than any beard in history. We must remove our hats for Rick Rubin, not only for his indelible contribution to music, but also for his truly mesmerizing beard.
The next beard on our list belongs to a co-founder of one of the most recognized and revered metal bands in the last quarter-century, Slayer. The man behind the beard, or, really, goatee, we suppose, is guitarist, Kerry King, who looks to have been cultivating his seriously grizzly chin beard for years of heavy shredding. And, without any hair atop his head, King’s beard stands defiantly as a true marker of metal and facial hair royalty alike.
You may not have heard of the band T.V. On The Radio, much less seen a photo or video of influential member, Kyp Malone, but you wouldn’t need to see one twice to have it forever etched into your mind’s eye. Malone probably has more hair on his head than most two-and-a-half children families have combined. And with just enough salt in his pepper, Malone has the distinguished quality of the world’s most interesting indie multi-instrumentalist. Touché, Mr. Malone, touché.
As if any list of music’s most rockin’ and hoppin’ beards would be complete without mention of the one, the only, Rick Ross. Ross’s prolific rap career has been intermittently sprinkled with just enough legal trouble to achieve the requisite level of street cred, perhaps, but his magnificently kempt beard has been as steadfast as any well-manicured growth that we’ve been privileged to witness. A glorious spectacle, Rick Ross has shown the world that a beard is as much for the street as it is for the wilderness.
Although there are so many more beards that have been made known through their musically inclined wearers, there is, unfortunately, only so much time to acknowledge these mighty beards, before, that is, we must go on to other realms of culture and society in which great beards proliferate.
- Jacob Smith