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Dollar What Club?
Do You Really Want To Bargain On Your Face?
Whether you’re clean-shaven or heavily bearded, or perhaps somewhere in between, you may have seen, may have even been intrigued by, one of these Dollar Shave/Beard Club advertisements. Oh, splendid little commercials, they are! Really quite entertaining. They make you laugh, while also feeling pretty cool, if only just for watching the coolness of the guy on screen. Let us ruminate for a moment, though, as to just what you expect to receive for (approximately) one dollar, and if whatever (approximately) one dollar gets you will be something you will actually feel good about using on your face. After all, you only have one face, and it’s usually the first thing others notice about you, so you’ll want to present it well.
The reason for the aforementioned approximation is quite telling, actually. While Dollar Shave/Beard Club makes for a clever business name, it makes for a rather disadvantageous business model. It seems that what these guys can actually afford to give you for just one monthly dollar is about as much as any reasonable person could expect to be given for just one monthly dollar, which is a substandard product loaded with imperfections and hidden fees. Shipping and handling is about two dollars per month, which makes the most basic one-dollar razors/beard oils actually more like three dollars. Too bad Three Dollar Shave/Beard Club doesn’t have a nice ring to it. Not to mention, the “one-dollar” option is just about enough to have a really unpleasant time, whether you’re shaving or oiling your face. You either get five two-blade razors (the kind they give away for free at motels) or one half-ounce thimble of beard oil (enough to quench a dry beards thirst about twice) for your one (actually about three) dollar per month contribution to these companies advertising budgets, because, truthfully, that’s where your money is obviously going when you get snared by a gimmick like these.
When you can see clear and apparent evidence of such blatant misappropriation of funds (i.e., elaborate and involved commercial advertisements designed to disguise obvious shortcomings), one must ask himself, “At what cost am I saving myself money, if, indeed, I am really even saving myself money?” After you answer that question for yourself, then, and only then, can you be sure that you’re doing what is best for your precious face, and not just what seems most fashionable at this particular cultural interval.
- Jacob Smith