Look at me! I'm adorable. From my smile to the pen in my shirt, there isn't much I don't like about this picture. My favorite thing though, is my beard. It's red. It's full. It gets compliments. Having a beard as great as mine can come with some problems though. Here are 8 problems the well bearded all go through.
1. Food.
There are two types of people in this world, those who love ice cream and liars. For me personally, I enjoy a nice waffle cone of chocolate ice cream after a stressful day at work. The only problem is I can't eat it without looking like I smashed the cone in my face as an attempt to eat it in one bite. I know you're probably going to say "but you could just get in a cup or a waffle bowl..." well sorry fancy person with lots of money, I just don't think a compromise should be had.
2. Maintenance
Every man has a morning routine. Regardless if it's waking up 10 minutes before you have to be to work or you get up hours before work to make breakfast, read the paper or watch the news, shower, and head out. Now you have a beard and if you don't want to look like Captain Cave Man, you'll have to maintain it. I've included a photo of the Basic Beard Kit because it has all you need to keep it nourished and looking good. Instructions to use are as followed:
1. Use the beard poo in the shower. You should already know how to use it because I wrote about it and Mike made a video. Jake is going to be upset if he finds out you didn't read the blog or watch the video.
2. Towel dry your face. Pour a dime size amount of beard oil in your hand and rub your hands together. Run your fingers through your beard, getting the underside of your beard as well. If you ignore the underside, you're in for a world of hurt. By the way, don't forget to check out or recent blog article on grooming & beard oil.
3. Once you've applied the oil and your ready to style it, it's time for beard butter. If you haven't seen Mike's classic how to video on beard butter, here it is.
4. My favorite part of the maintenance is combing. At first it's annoying because all the knots are getting pulled apart but after a few strokes it glides through like a hot knife through butter. I found myself combing my beard at any chance I could get. At home watching TV, at the movies, waiting in line at the store, and while driving (it's not illegal yet!).
3. Colors like a tree in Autumn.
I've known Mike for 10+ years now and I can say with 100% certainty that the color is not painted in. As with any hair on your body it will change color naturally. Whether it comes from old age or being friends with me for as long as Mike has, it will happen.
4. Too much attention!
People often want to be left alone to go about their day. If you have a nice beard, good luck with that. Compliments will come from every where, "Nice beard!" "I like your beard!" "Killer beard man!". Look, I know I have a great beard but my eyes are up here ma'am.
5. The temptation to shave.
I gave in to the temptation to shave. While it was fun to do the various beard styles you would only dream of wearing in public the reality set in. I look like Sloth from The Goonies. Others when they shave look like a baby. For those who can shave and still look good, I applaud you (and secretly am jealous of you).
6. Confidence abounds.
Let's be honest, a man with a thick or long beard seems to exude confidence. He walks with a purpose. Eyes focused forward on his next mission. That's a man who know what he wants and he's going to go get it. There are tons of theories out there as to why this is but the science breaks it down to two things, genetics and testosterone. I'll go into the science of hair (ironically because I'm bald) later but if you walk a clean shaven man and a bearded man side by side, who will look more confident to you?
7. Shedding.
Anyone with long hair knows the pains of shedding. You comb your hair and in the tines are a mess of hairs. It's going to happen. Shedding also happens when you don't take care of your skin and hair. I spent a good portion of my Friday last week telling you about the beard poo and why it's essential for your skin and hair. If you don't use the proper products you'll end up with more hair in your comb than on your face and that's your fault.
8. What a itch!
One of the most common reasons men don't grow beards is because they're itchy. Your beard becomes itchy because your skin produces enough oil to only keep the skin covered OR the hairs. After a week of growth all the oil is soaked up by the hairs coming out of the follicles and your skin dries out. Now you have this dry desert of a face being ravished by what amounts tiny swords poking through the surface. I cannot stress this enough, TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN! Using a beard oil will replace the oil your face naturally produces. Our beard oil is based with Sweet Almond Oil, which is an 80/20 oil, meaning 80% of it absorbs into the skin and 20% evaporates. You won't need to use it more than once a day. "But I don't want to look all greasy." The only way your going to look greasy is if you use the entire bottle in one sitting.
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